Hits on blackheartsparty.com reached into six digits the week of the party, boosted largely by mentions in The New York Post (which prints a photo from last year's party), Tech TV, two separate articles on MSNBC, and a Reuters piece that ran on Yahoo News, USA Today, CNN, Nzoom New Zealand News, Terra Noticias, Mexico's El Siglo de Torreon, The Hindustan Times, The Peninsula: Qatar's Leading English Daily, Express India, Yahoo UK & Ireland, Yahoo China, and who knows where else.

"Estoy verdaderamente sorprendido de la cantidad de movimientos reaccionarios que están surgiendo: usted no ve que ocurra con Navidad, Semana Santa o Halloween", dijo Marc Leonard, un productor de Black Hearts Party y co-editor del sitio de Internet.

In the days leading up to the party we were approached by filmmakers who wanted to shoot footage of the party for use in an upcoming documentary about unusual mating rituals around the world. Considering our friends might not care to have their bare asses, exposed nipples, or abberant, BHP-inspired behavior splashed all over TV or the big screen we politely declined.

A delightful new addition this year was The Unfulfillerator, which allowed guests to experience, in sixty seconds, all the ups and downs of a real relationship. Guests could chose to have a relationship with either (or both) of our two fabulous improv actors, Jenn Harris and Jack Ferver (Jimmie Tickles of Strangers With Candy fame). Once the timer was started they were subjected to sixty seconds of (in order) compliments, flirtation, lust, anger, venom, and abuse.

Pornonymity 2.0, bearing the slogan "Whack To The Future", once again allowed guests the opportunity to unleash their inner porn stars and as always the crowd delivered, to a degree that made last year's entries seem downright quaint. We received over eighty entries depicting various sleazy, eye-popping, physically improbable combinations of party-goers and one sexually-exhausted robot.

Guests gained insight into the scope of the Black Hearts Party through our new International Operations Center, that featured articles from around the world covering a variety of anti-Valentine's Day-related activities, such as V-day card burnings in India, V-day teddy bear bombs in the American Midwest, and anti-V-day government action in Saudi Arabia.

BHP XIV was also marked by the return of the ever-popular Grope room, the Fondle Closet, the voodoo shrine for cursing your ex, the yet-filthier Chamber of Destiny, Dare cards, DJs lucien and dj shaved, and the prayer shrine to Dogcoon (patron saint of the Black Hearts Party).

It being Valentine's Day, the main attraction in terms of décor this year was the life-sized Cupid crucified above the dance floor, being eaten from inside and out by a host of giant black spiders. Fluffy white Valentine's Day teddy bears dangled overhead, bound in web and befouled with wet black eggs poised to hatch something even worse.

Other décor included creepy black "Club Dead" palm trees, black elastic webbing, a clothesline of tiny black clothes, hundreds of black condoms, disturbing mutant black balloons, the pornographic Kama Sutra lounge, and a room filled with the smashed videotape from several dozen Julia Roberts and Meg Ryan romantic comedies.

The food table was actually more real food this year (as opposed to the "food" of previous years), with blackened meatballs, black squid ink pasta, and black Chinese forbidden rice. A professionally-made black wedding cake served as centerpiece, decorated with blackberries and black-clad bride and decapitated groom.

This year's array of black outfits was the most impressive we've ever had, including the guy who painted a black shirt on his chest, the guy wearing a skirt made out of black gloves and carrying a black plunger, the porn superhero duo (black butt plug and anal beads at the ready on his utility belt), and of course, the six BHP14 cheerleaders in matching outfits who exploded into the party with a sleazy rehearsed cheer. No, we didn't hire them.

A man grab DJ Shaved by the straps of his man-skirt, hook him on his back, and wear him around like a backpack.

The straight couple having sex on the stage by the wheel until they realized they were standing in front of the DJ.

The guy that made the Pornonymity girl slap his ass with a crop, with increasing intensity, until he couldn't take any more. A few hours later he returned, pulled his pants down to reveal huge red welts all over his ass, and demanded more. We later heard he couldn't sit down the next day.

"The wheel says, 'Put hand underneath victim's clothing'.  Where do you want me to do that?"
'Well, not under my bra because I'm wearing fake tits.'
"OK, hold onto the railing and bend over then."

Voice in Grope Room after sucking noises, "You know I've always wanted to suck your cock."

"How'd your relationship at The Unfulfillerator go?"
"Pretty much like every other one I've had."

After a female victim had to tongue-kiss a female spinner at the wheel: "I don't know what the hell she's been drinking".

Woman in bathroom stall to man in next stall: "God I wish I had a penis!"

girl 1: "I don't get it, what's it for?"
girl 2: "I think you stick it in your butt..."
girl 1: "Really?" [pause] "Are you sure it's not for your kitty?"
girl 2: "No, I'm pretty sure it goes in your butt..."
girl 1: "Oh." [long pause] "Do you think that feels good?"
girl 2: "Well, let's get one and try it..."

Woman wearing pigtails to DJ Lucien:  "Can you play something a little more aggressive? You know, something I can, like, fuck to? Maybe some industrial or something? I'd like to hear something a little more violent."

guy 1: "I was in the Grope Room at this straight couple was having sex. So I grabbed the guys balls while he was going at it."
guy 2: "Did he like it?"
guy 1: "Sure seemed like it."