We took recycling to (black) heart and spared the world about a hundred Julia Roberts movies by using them as party decor. Throw in fifty pounds of black fabric scraps, six hundred yards of black elastic, and two garbage bags full of men's black vinyl belts and you have Black Hearts Party pret-a-porter!

The hate gifts were back, as well as such perennial favorites as the voodoo shrine for cursing your ex and Tragic Love Stories. In addition to our usual selection of black drinks and black "food", trays of black quesadillas,
black jello shots, and home-made 'black & black' cookies made their way throughout the party. This year we added a prayer shrine to BHP patron saint Dogcoon and a much, much filthier Chamber of Destiny. We also built the dark and creepy Grope Room, in which you couldn't see own your hand in front of your face. As for feeling someone else's hand down your pants, that was another story. Sounded to us like the soundtrack to Caligula in there.

This year marked the introduction of Pornonymity to help release everyone's inner porn stars, and did it ever. Budding Jeff Strykers and Jenna Jamesons lined up all night to get access to our 70s wood-paneled porn set and camera. Then it was off to run around the party campaigning to get their photos elected winners in the First Annual Pornonymity Awards.

Outfits this year included a duct tape dress, greaser go-go boy, twelve black hearts woven into a woman's hair, the inspired combination of chaps and thong, a Saran Wrap tube top (with strategically-placed black hearts), an umbrella skirt, mohawk-glam-rocker-guy, many variations on the underwear-as-onlywear theme, and some ideas too strange to describe in words. (Did he really shave his head and draw his hair back on in black ink? Yes he did.)

Seen this year...
The guy who brought his own camera into the Pornonymity room and started shooting alongside our photographer.

A guy and his boyfriend got into a screaming fight during the party and broke up. Onlookers wondered whether the fight was staged by the hosts. It was not.

The couple that came back to the Pornonymity room for the third time, asking "What do we have to do to win this thing?" and proceeded to go for it full-on for the benefit of the Pornonymity photographer.

One of the hosts went home with an unidentified fake mustache stuck to the back of his neck.

And overheard...
"Are there more gay men at the party this year or just more of them with their shirts off?"

"My boyfriend gave me permission to touch but not put."

"I'm not a slut; I just want to kiss a bunch of guys."

#1: "There are things on the wheel that I just can't do with a stranger."
#2: "Like what?"
#1: "Like rub the victim's face in your crotch. How do you fake that?"
#2: "You don't. What's your point?"

"Wanna see my girlfriend's tits?"

Guy: "You only have 12 black hearts in your hair. Where's the 13th?"
Girl: "Guess."

"Dude, those chains are in the urinals! That's the grossest thing I've ever seen."
[pause]
"Actually, I saw a girl sneeze cum once. That was pretty gross."
[pause]
"Well, it was my own cum, so I guess this is grosser."

"I'm still trying to recapture the orgasm I had when I was six."

"I know you haven't kissed anyone, but you smell like twat. Did you find the Grope Lounge?"

"It's okay. Really. My wife will get turned on by watching us kiss."

"Don't cum on my shirt; it'll be hard to get out. Just cum in my mouth."

"Oh honey, great tits. Mind if I have a lick?"

"I'm soo happy for Pornonymity — the twins were dying to get out."

"I was worried. I didn't think my roommate would loosen up — she is a little uptight — then she disappeared into the Grope Room with some couple for two hours."  

Girl: "Can I draw a black heart on your ass?"
Guy: "Uh, sure."
Girl: [after finishing] "Thanks! Now I'm gonna use this on my face!"